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I haven’t been writing as much as a should…but there is a good reason why…

August 21, 2013

Categories: My Life

I have been talking with my friends that have been blogging a lot lately and it seems the conversation always comes back to “I should really be writing more”. Not that they are telling me to do that, but that I feel like I should. Writing is great therapy. It allows me to get things off my chest, put ideas down in word and make myself accountable for things in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still writing and publishing on Bike198.com, helping clients with digital marketing platforms and working here and there. It isn’t like I am not doing anything in my digital life. The personal writing is the aspect that has taken a drastic turn down in frequency. Ok…the reality is that it hasn’t existed at all as of recently.

So why the change?

The reality is that I am really enjoying being a dad. I usually used the time early in the morning to get my thoughts out of my head and on the screen. That was the time my head was the clearest and I was most efficient at getting it all out in digital format.

Everyone has their moment during the day where they can get the most accomplished personally. For many it is during the night time hours when the family is asleep, for others like me it is the morning with a cup of coffee. Like it or not…it is just the way I am wired I guess.

What am I doing now in the morning?

Diapers. Literally. I have been lucky enough in my professional life to have the ability to wake my son up in the morning and take him to daycare. Out of everything I do during the day…that has to be one of the best highlights on a consistent basis and I am trying to enjoy it as much as possible. There are a lot of dads and moms out there that do not have the luxury of just hanging out with their little one for an hour in the morning so I am trying to enjoy and not waste a good thing.

When I get back from daycare, the messages have already lined up and the work day is in full force. My personal time for writing and getting more personal aspects completed takes a back seat to the actions that pay the bills.

Even the time I do find to do something for myself tends to lend itself to something mechanical in nature as a stress release as the day moves forward. Getting out for a run, working on the car, riding my bike…all things that become the desired go-to action as the day progresses outside of introspective thought and release.

On a more serious note

One of the main reasons outside of time I haven’t been writing as much is that I have been going through a lot of “life balance” and organizational thinking. There have been times recently that I have either noticed or it has been pointed out to me that I have been spending too much time online.

Over the past couple of months, I have been doing a lot to figure out who I am and why I do the things I do. There are a lot of positives but there are also a lot of negatives that need working on. In life, I have been taking feelings and reactions that I have considered as normal just to find out they are not. In many ways, I was using my time online to seek the approval of others in an attempt to measure my personal self worth. There are also other aspects to this (that I don’t feel like going into detail about now) that is fed by the need to have the best or show others what I think I know.

For that reason, I really took a break from the digital world in many ways in my life to reevaluate what is truly important and making sure that those people know how important they really are. It is very easy for someone like me to get caught up in the digital world and make that a primary focus instead of a secondary addition to real life. My work is intrenched in it. My hobbies rely on it as a form of sharing and communication. It has become a part of nearly every aspect of modern culture. As I look into my own head more, I see certain aspects that lead me to behave in certain ways and I am finding that…in many ways…the ease of digital life feeds certain needs that aren’t healthy.

Does that mean I need to stop all together???

No. Not at all. I means that I need to personally find the balance in my life that works for me. I do find writing and sharing in the digital realm healthy…but as I move forward I am more careful about the motives for the sharing than the reactions I seek. I also need to make sure the absolute priority in my life is my interactions with my family and the love I show them. It has always been the #1 priority in my life but I need to make sure that the digital part of my life doesn’t interfere with that as well.

So a long story short…I am going to make an effort to get more of my thoughts out. But there is a difference this time around at least on this site. The primary force is not going to be centered around making money or carving a spot out in the blogging world like I have in the past. It is going to be more about me and less about advice. Will I share things that have worked for me from time to time? Yeah. When I feel like it fits. Otherwise…I am going to keep this site about exactly what it is named. Robb Sutton.

 

6 thoughts on “I haven’t been writing as much as a should…but there is a good reason why…

  • Joel

    Very interesting thoughts Robb. As a new-ish Dad myself I’ve been having vaguely similar thoughts on the amount of time online – replacing a daily commute with time online working has it’s benefits but it’s downsides too. Blogging much less and remaining online much more for work than entertainment.
    I’ll be interested in hearing more about anything you want to share 🙂

    • Robb Sutton

      It’s weird how that transition takes place. How is everyone doing on your side?

  • James

    I am with you, Robb. Family is what really matters, and I’m glad that you are taking the time to enjoy every minute of fatherhood.

    Even with with firm priorities though, the life balance thing isn’t always easy. My blog has always just been a small side project just fun, and sometimes with a busy work and family life, I just don’t have time for it. With a fairly large following though, I used to feel obligated to post about twice a week. I am quickly getting over that now though. If work and family life is keeping me too busy, the blog can always wait.

    • Robb Sutton

      It really has been amazing to watch your blog grow. It has gotten to be the blog to go to about bike design. That is awesome. I need to get back to SC sometime soon so we can go for a ride.

  • Tim

    Rob, very interesting timing for me to get this post in my inbox. Sounds like you and I are on a similar path in terms of balancing family life, blogging, work etc. I also spend my mornings changing diapers and hanging out with the kids 🙂

    After months (years actually) of beating myself up to do more with my blog, I decided to let go of my self-imposed pressure and really focus on ways to spend more time with my wife and kids and be truly present with them when I am with them – not thinking about my blog, work etc. during those times.

    One thing I started doing that has helped me to focus more on “the present” when I’m with my kids is to take a pic or a video with my iPhone of a random moment during the day. Just that one simple thing makes me re-focus my mind on truly experiencing whatever it is that I am doing with my kids at that moment. It’s been a pretty powerful yet simple way to make sure I am fully in the moment.

    • Robb Sutton

      That makes for an awesome morning! Well…maybe not the diaper part but the rest is pretty cool.

      I used to do a picture a day of Daniel for a long time. I still take a lot of pictures of him but it really does get you centered on what is important like you said. It also gave my wife a smile in the morning as she has to leave before he gets up.

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