It’s A Weird Feeling

80% of my body is fine.

Actually, it’s better than fine. Before I got shot, I was in some of the best shape of my life. I was running 3.5 miles a day. I was back on the bike thanks to my back getting better and I was working out daily as well. I had finally gotten down to my goal weight and things were going along really well.

After I got shot, 80% of my body feels the same. I can push the same heart rate. My right leg and lung capacity is the same. When I do my walk/jog in the morning or throw a leg over my new e-bike, my body is ready to go! Just one big issue…

One leg does not want to function.

Thanks to the continued hamstring, blood flow and nerve issues. My left leg feels like it is not even a part of my body. I know it is a weird comparison but I feel like a Ken doll. It’s almost like you could just remove my left leg with a quick pull of the joint.

It’s a really weird feeling to have most of your body in great shape with only one part holding everything back. I can’t run. Even when I jog…I can’t do it up hills. When the rest of my body isn’t even close to tired yet, my left leg feels dead thanks to lack of fuel.

When you look from the outside everything appears fine to start. We have been going on hikes as a family lately and I will start out looking like a normal person. That is until my leg gets tired before the rest of my body. Then I look like I am limping and I am having trouble moving it. It’s because I am and apparently I am not as good as hiding it from my wife as I really thought.

We are doing things that are hopefully going to help. The MRI is next week to get an updated look at the internals. That is more than likely pushing towards surgery on my hamstrings. They are really worried about opening me back up again due to the nature of the injuries but it might be our only choice at this time. The blood flow is a completely different issue that seems to have no solution. Over time…it can slowly get better but it will never be what it once was thanks to the valves being damaged due to the blood loss.

At least in the short term…this weird feeling is my new normal. Hopefully we will be able to figure out something to help but it will be incremental at best. I get some false sense that everything is getting better sometimes only to find out I was compensating for the injury in other areas. That has caused muscle soreness and fatigue in areas that were not technically damaged by the injury.

We will just have to keep pushing forward trying to find answers where we can. That is about the only option we have right now.

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Joe large February 28, 2021 - 5:09 pm
Hope you get better. What ebike did you get. I'm in the market
Robb Sutton February 28, 2021 - 8:31 pm
Thanks Joe. I ended up with the Trek Rail 9.8. It has been so great that I actually bought my wife the 9.7 too. Highly recommended.
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