I Lost My Mornings

The morning used to be the most productive time of the day for me. I normally don’t sleep in. I get up early before everyone is awake and knock out work and other things during a time where I wasn’t interrupted.

This was also the time where I would do my runs or other exercises. It was great to clear my mind for the day and organize my thoughts. This was also the time where I have come up with some of my best ideas…whether it be for the websites, YouTube or in my professional sales life.

If I had to guess…90% of my overall productivity landed right in that couple of hours every morning. It was highly efficient and I loved it.

That has changed.

Thanks to what happened. I have lost my mornings. It is no longer waking up rested early in the morning. It is waking up tired because I can sleep due to discomfort or crazy dreams. Once I get up, I am reminded of what happened instantly thanks to having to wear a compression sock every day on my left leg. I start out the day with those memories and it is hard to shake.

I go out on what used to be my productive run to a walk/jog that leaves me in pain and still thinking about what happened. I can’t clear my head thanks to the discomfort. I can stop doing it because my leg feels worse if I don’t.

Every mourning when I get back in the house my wife asks me how it went. The answer is always the same. “It is what it is.”

What used to be the source of my drive creative and professionally is not the same. It takes a shower and a mental reboot to try to get on the right track. That only ends with another time I have to force the sock back on and start my day.

I have tried creative ways to try to not have this same routine come day after day but without much luck. Hopefully talking about it more will make it better and I can get my favorite time of the day back. Unfortunately for now, it looks like the routine is here to stay so I need to find a way around it mentally. Hopefully with the doctors appointments coming up…we can start to find a way around the physical so it isn’t a constant reminder.

Just another one of those “take it a day at a time” things I guess. We are better off than when we started this healing journey but I feel like we still have a long road ahead still.

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